Marriage Matters

To the Reader: I am writing this article from my own personnel experience of 50years of marriage. And that being the case, there area few things I learned along the way. This would include not only what the bible has to say, but from what I learned from other married couples as well as medical science. And sense they don’t violate any scripture from what as I can see, I felt that it would be safe to include them in this article as well. All this I did to encourage and help you the with any issues and struggles that you may encounter in your marriage. So, please read with an open mind, always seeking what God’s word has to says in all things. Therefore: “Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” (2 Timothy 2:15 KJV)

The bible does rightly proclaim that: “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” (Hebrews 13:4 EMTV) So, isn’t this passage declaring that marriage is good and that sexual intimacy shouldn’t be viewed as dirty, defiling or unholy? However, we do know that God will judge those who commit sexual immorality. So, let us who are married embrace our union as an institution that God has created. Let’s bring him glory and honor by embracing each other whether in good times or bad, in sickness or in health, until death do us part. Amen.

Now, when talking about marriage, we must first stand on what God has to say about it. For we first read: “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh." (Genesis 2:24 NASB20) So, we clearly see that it says that a man shall “be joined to his wife.” Then further down we read: “God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” (Genesis 1:28 NASB20) Therefore, any marriage relationship other than what was mentioned above would be a sinful one which God has not joined together. This would include not only homosexual relationships, but those who are committing adultery by marrying a divorced woman. More on this below.

“But if you hate her and send her away,” says the Lord God of Israel, “ungodliness will obscure your thinking,” says the Lord Almighty. “So take heed to your spirit, that you do not forsake her.” (Malachi 2:16 OSB)

Now, marriage is meant to be for a lifetime according to God’s word. However, we can see so many marriages breaking up for one reason or another. And why is that? Are we believing the lies of Satan that says “the grass is greener on the other side of the fence?” For those who believe this will most likely never be happy with any relationship they’re in. And yes, there may be some lumps and bumps for all of us along the way. For even Paul the apostle said: “But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.” (1 Corinthians 7:28 KJV) Yes, there is can be some trying times during any marriage relationship. However, by walking after the Holy Spirit and resisting the lies of the devil, couples can make it through even the most difficult of times. For it’s true that: “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13 ESV)

And finally, let’s take heed to the words that Jesus spoke to the Pharisees. For they confronted him concerning divorce and remarriage by saying: “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?" (Matthew 19:7 ESV) But what was Jesus response? Well he said: “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.” (Matthew 19:8-9 ESV) So, Jesus made it clear that marriage is to be for life. Therefore, “love the one you’re with” and resist the lies that say otherwise. Amen.

“Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well. Should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets? Let them be for yourself alone, and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.” (Proverbs 5:15-19 ESV)

In that passage above, we can see that the marriage relationship should be delightful. For God created marriage and wants us not only to express our love to one another through it, but to richly enjoy it as well. Now, those of us who are married should know that the sexual act between a man and a woman can bring about the most intense physical pleasure. And it’s for a good reason. For it’s one of those pleasures of life that brings forth new life into this world. So, this being the case, doesn’t it make sense that God would make it intensely pleasurable? And let’s also remember that we ourselves are here because our parents had a sexual encounter as well.

Below are a few scriptures taken from Song of Songs showing a couple's desire for each other:

• The man speaks: “As a lily among thorns, So is my love among the daughters. (Song of Songs 2:2 ASV)
• The woman speaks: “Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest, so is my beloved among the young men. In his shade I took great delight and sat down, and his fruit was sweet to my taste. He has brought me to his banquet hall, and his banner over me is love.” (Song of Songs 2:2-4 NASB20)
• The man speaks: “A garden enclosed is my sister, my spouse, a spring shut up, a fountain sealed. Your plants are an orchard of pomegranates with pleasant fruits, fragrant henna with spikenard, spikenard and saffron, calamus and cinnamon, With all trees of frankincense, myrrh and aloes, with all the chief spices - A fountain of gardens, a well of living waters, and streams from Lebanon.” (Song of Songs 4:12-15 NKJV)
• The woman speaks: “Awake, O north wind; and come, thou south; blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out. Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits. (Song of Songs 4:16 KJV)
• The man speaks: “I am come into my garden, my sister, my spouse: I have gathered my myrrh with my spice; I have eaten my honeycomb with my honey; I have drunk my wine with my milk: eat, O friends; drink, yea, drink abundantly, O beloved.” (Song of Songs 5:1 KJV)
• The woman speaks: “My beloved is white and ruddy, the chiefest among ten thousand. His head is as the most fine gold, his locks are bushy, and black as a raven. His eyes are as the eyes of doves by the rivers of waters, washed with milk, and fitly set. His cheeks are as a bed of spices, as sweet flowers: his lips like lilies, dropping sweet smelling myrrh. His hands are as gold rings set with the beryl: his belly is as bright ivory overlaid with sapphires. His legs are as pillars of marble, set upon sockets of fine gold: his countenance is as Lebanon, excellent as the cedars.” (Song of Songs 5:10-15 KJV)
• The man speaks: “How fair and how pleasant art thou, O love, for delights! This thy stature is like to a palm-tree, And thy breasts to its clusters. I said, I will climb up into the palm-tree, I will take hold of the branches thereof: Let thy breasts be as clusters of the vine, And the smell of thy breath like apples.” (Song of Songs 7:6-8) Please note: To this day there a those who help get the pollination process going by climbing up the date palms trees. For there is both a male tree as well as a female tree. Thus, by taking a portion of the male pollen, they can dust the female palm tree with it. ( see Song of Songs 7:6-8 KJV) So, couldn’t this be referring to a man engaging his wife in sex?

Click this link to see a video on Date Palm pollination: Click here

“All things are lawful, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful, but not all things build up.” (1 Corinthians 10:23 LSB)

Now, from what I gather form the scriptures, I believe that what couple’s do behind closed doors should not be judge by others. For it’s true that we’re not all at the same level of faith when it comes to sexual intimacy. For some couples may limit themselves to the simple basics of sex. And on the other hand, there are those whose faith may allow them to have more freedom in the marriage bed. In either case, we need to be careful not to put a stumbling block nor a guilt trip on each other.

Therefore, those who limit themselves to the simple basics shouldn’t condemn those who do otherwise. And in the same way, those who have more freedom shouldn’t criticize or look down on those who don’t. For we need to take heed to what God’s word says and leave all judgment up to God. For it’s before Him that we stand or fall; and according to his word, he will make us stand (see Romans 14 below). So, wherever your faith may allow you to go, give glory and thanks to God. Amen.

• Now accept the one who is weak in faith, but not for the purpose of passing judgment on his opinions. ... Who are you to judge the servant of another? To his own master he stands or falls; and he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand. ... Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather determine this - not to put an obstacle or a stumbling block in a brother’s way. I know and am convinced in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself; but to him who thinks anything to be unclean, to him it is unclean. ... The faith which you have, have as your own conviction before God. Happy is he who does not condemn himself in what he approves. (Romans 14:1, 4, 13-14, 22 NASB95)

“Then he said to the woman, “I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth. And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.” (Genesis 3:16 NLT)

Now, because of Adam and Eve’s sin, troubles came into the lives of us all. And some of these issues can include couples struggling with sexual infirmities. Therefore, they would have to come up with ways to make things work out for them on the marriage bed. And as said before, I’m convinced that what couple do in their bedroom shouldn’t be judged by others. For God knows all of our struggles and issues. For as said before: “All things are lawful, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful, but not all things build up.” (1 Corinthians 10:23 LSB) Yes, all things that are beneficial may be lawful if it’s not restricted in God’s word. But again, only go where your faith will allow you to go.

Now, for those who are struggling with conceiving a child, don’t give up hope. For let’s remember that Abraham and his wife Sarah, as well as Zachariah and his wife Elizabeth still engaging in sex even in their old age. (Genesis 21:1-2, Luke 1:24 KJV) And we know from the bible that both these couples were finally blessed with a child. And for those couples who may never be able to bring forth a child of their own, there’s always the option to adopt. So, whatever your outcome or age may be, don’t stop enjoying sex with your spouse. For God will always make a way for us, no matter what difficulties we may be facing. We just need to have faith.

I would like to point out that there are health benefits for both men and women who remain sexually active. For science studies have shown that semen may help enhance a woman’s mood. Also, there are studies that say it could help provide a safer pregnancy as well. And for those men who are sexually active, studies have shown that it could help fight-off prostate cancer as well. So: “Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” (1 Corinthians 7:5 ESV)

So then, whether you’re young newlyweds or well advanced in years, let’s keep sexually active throughout our lives. Just make sure you’re doing it with a right frame of mind and in a way that is pleasing not only to one another, but pleasing to God our Father as well. Therefore: “Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” (1 Corinthians 7:5 ESV)

“Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?” (Matthew 19:4-5 KJV)

Now, there are studies showing that a woman could receive a man’s DNA during sex. They also mention the components of his semen being detected within her blood stream a few hours after she receives it. That would make the words of Jesus above not just some metaphor but an actual fact. Also, studies have shown that semen could help lessen the chances of a miscarriage. Therefore, we need to do our homework and be diligent, not only by studying God’s word, but to do some research on what science and medical studies have to say as well.

• Mood Enhancer
• Women receive and retain male DNA through sex - Article 1
• Women receive and retain male DNA through sex - Video
• Sex for a safer pregnancy - Article 1
• Sex for a safer pregnancy - Article 2
• Ejaculation Frequency for a healthy prostate
• Sex for Older Couples

As mentioned at the beginning, the marriage relationship should be one that consists of love and pleasure for both the man and woman. For again, God does “giveth us richly all things to enjoy.” (1Timathy 6:17 KJV) However, we shouldn’t be so wrapped up in ourselves that we forget that there is a world who desperately needs Jesus. For Paul reminds us of this by saying: “But this I say, brethren, the time is short, so that from now on even those who have wives should be as though they had none, those who weep as though they did not weep, those who rejoice as though they did not rejoice, those who buy as though they did not possess, and those who use this world as not misusing it. For the form of this world is passing away.” (1 Corinthians 7:29-31 NKJV) Yes, there is a world of people out there who need to be saved. So, enjoy your marriage relationship but don’t forget to: “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation.” (Mark 16:15 NASB20) Amen.

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“Don’t be afraid, my daughter. I will do whatever you say. The whole town knows that you are a woman who has strength of character.” (Ruth 3:11 God’s Word translation)

That passage above conveys the true meaning of the Hebrew word “ḥayil” which means a woman of strong character. So, why do most translations use the word “virtuous” which simply makes her out to be one who is chaste. Are they afraid that a determined women with a strong character might out doe some of us weak men? For a strong and determined woman is not only one who is “chaste” in character, but one who gets the job done as well. We see this to be true in the book of Ruth as well as in Proverbs where we read of the perfect wife.

Now, let’s first look into the biblical story of the widowed woman Ruth. For she being Moabite left her own country and chose to become part of the Children of Israel (read the story for yourself for more details). And as being instructed by her Israeli mother-in-law Naomi, she uncovered the feet of a sleeping man named Boaz. This seems to be an obvious hint to show him that she wanted to become his wife. And we know her actions worked because they did eventually get married and had a child. And that child became part of the lineage of Jesus Christ himself. (Note: There are those who claim that Ruth performed a sexual act on Boaz that night. However, it’s clear from scripture that this is not true. For she only wanted to show him her willingness to become “one flesh” with him and thus become his wife.)

Now of course there are those who feel that they need to sterilize or tone down the word of God. For they teach that the uncovering one’s feet back then was a practice of humility that was performed by a man’s servant, thus having nothing to do with sex at all. (FYI: Ruth was written over 2400 years ago and so there is no way to proof that servants did this back then. For we don’t see servants practicing this anywhere else in the bible. However, we do see the word “uncover” being used as a sexual reference in Leviticus chapter 20)

Now, as we already read above, most translators chose to us the word “virtuous” to describe Ruth instead of the more accurate words such as “strong and determined.” And yes, virtuousness should be practiced by all godly women. However, we shouldn’t twist or water down scripture to cover up Ruth’s intentions that night. And yes, we see this same watering down of passages being displayed in other parts of the bible as well. But thank God we do have those translations that rightly bring out the true meaning of what’s being conveyed in scripture. Therefore, we should see Ruth as a woman of strong character that was determined to became part of the children of God. And yes, even if it meant giving Boaz a clear hint that she wanted to become his wife for life.

Below is a few passages from the KJV itself that showing the word “Strength” or “strong” being used instead of the word “Virtuous” that being used in Ruth 3:11 as well as Proverbs:

• If the iron be blunt, and he do not whet the edge, then must he put to more strength: but wisdom is profitable to direct. (Ecclesiastes 10:10 KJV)
• In the day when the keepers of the house shall tremble, and the strongmen shall bow themselves, and the grinders cease because they are few, and those that look out of the windows be darkened, (Ecclesiastes 12:3 KJV)
• Woe unto them that are mighty to drink wine, and men of strength to mingle strong drink: (Isaiah 5:22 KJV)
• How say ye, We are mighty and strong men for the war? (Jeremiah 48:14 KJV)
• Be not afraid, ye beasts of the field: for the pastures of the wilderness do spring, for the tree beareth her fruit, the fig tree and the vine do yield their strength. (Joel 2:22 KJV)
• The LORD God is my strength, and he will make my feet like hinds' [feet], and he will make me to walk upon mine high places. To the chief singer on my stringed instruments. (Habakkuk 3:19 KJV)

Below are a few passages from a Bible version that gets it right when it comes down to the character of both Ruth’s and the Proverb’s wife:

• Don’t be afraid, my daughter. I will do whatever you say. The whole town knows that you are a woman who has strength of character. It is true that I am a close relative of yours, but there is a relative closer than I. Remain here tonight. Then in the morning, if he agrees to marry you, fine, let him do so. But if he does not want to do so, I promise, as surely as the LORD lives, to marry you. Sleep here until morning." (Ruth 3:11-13 Word Translation, NET)
• A wife with strength of character is the crown of her husband, but the wife who disgraces him is like bone cancer. (Proverbs 12:4 God’s Word translation)
• Who can find a wife with a strong character? She is worth far more than jewels. Her husband trusts her with all his heart, and he does not lack anything good. She helps him and never harms him all the days of her life. Proverbs (31:1-12 God’s Word translation)

So, we can see that Ruth was a biblical figure whose remarkable journey is filled with valuable insights, exemplifies both strength and determination. So, to wrap things up, let’s explore what we can learn from her story below.

Unwavering Loyalty to Naomi:

After the deaths of their husbands, Ruth’s mother-in-law, Naomi, urged her and her sister-in-law, Orpah, to return to their own families. Orpah chose to follow Naomi’s advice, but Ruth’s loyalty transcended blood ties. Ruth made a heartfelt declaration to Naomi: “Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God.” This unwavering loyalty demonstrated Ruth’s deep commitment and love for Naomi, teaching us valuable lessons about commitment and the enduring power of love.

Hard Work and Diligence:

Upon arriving in Bethlehem, Ruth took the initiative to provide for herself and Naomi through diligent work in the fields. She understood the importance of hard work and was willing to put in the necessary effort to ensure their survival.

Submission to God’s Plan:

Ruth’s story teaches us that true strength lies in our willingness to submit to God’s will, trusting in His provision and leading. Her humble submission played out in her interactions with Boaz, demonstrating her faithfulness and resilience.

Not Virtuous in the Traditional Sense:

Ruth’s virtue is not defined by perfection. She faced uncertainty, poverty, and societal challenges. Yet her determination to stay with Naomi reveals her perseverance and resilience, even while dealing with her own grief over her late husband and living in a foreign land.

In summary, Ruth’s legacy is one of loyalty, love, and faithfulness. Her choices inspire and guide us on our own journey to blessings, emphasizing the enduring power of character and trust in divine providence. *

1. Rise in strength – Ruth, living a purposeful life. - Girls' Brigade ...
2. Lessons from the Book of Ruth: A Woman of Strength

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